What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
