I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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