You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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