I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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