just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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