i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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