thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
