I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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