i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
