Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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