I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my being single is dangerous.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
