I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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