Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
