I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
