Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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