summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
