My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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