When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
