This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
