he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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