I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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