she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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