No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
