You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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