I think im going to throw up on grandma
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
