There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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