i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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