Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
