Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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