Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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