I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
