I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
