xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
