i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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