So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
