just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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