Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
