That's when you crack a 10am beer
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
