You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
