He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Drake has all the answers
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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