i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize