p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
