i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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