Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Say something about gay babies.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I touched a dick in church today
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
