You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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