After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just cropdusted the office
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
