actually, I'm a sock model
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
