I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Never underestimate the power of titties
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