HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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