Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
