did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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