this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
